Normally we try and keep our security roundups focused on serious topics, but we thought we’d take a break this week and treat you to a roundup of stories about dumb criminals from around the world. Enjoy.
Robber Leaves Own iPhone at Scene of Smash-and-Grab Crime Scene
Virginia Police reported that Travis Montgomery Snyder, 25, was arrested on Monday for a crime he committed in February at a Springfield wireless store. The officers who responded to the scene on February 19, 2013 found a smashed glass case, which had been stripped of several Apple iPhones but contained a Samsung Galaxy s3, which, upon further investigation, turned out to be Snyder’s.
Aiding in the capture was a DMV wireless surveillance video that identified Snyder as he was fleeing the scene. The Washington Post made a clever joke about Snyder “making an upgrade” from a “Galaxy” to an “iPhone” as motivation for the crime… but we contend that there is nothing clever about this story, it’s one of the stupidest crimes we’ve ever heard of.
Drunk Thief Falls Asleep While Robbing House, Does Not Get Away Clean
In the grand tradition of doing things that are just patently not smart while being intoxicated, an unidentified man from Tajikistan broke into a house in a Moscow suburb and proceeded to steal all of the homeowners vodka, shot by precious shot. Apparently the task of smuggling a fifth of Stolichnaya in his stomach proved too daunting a task for the man, and he decided to take a little snooze on the homeowners couch, where he was discovered when the owners returned several hours later.
Moscow police arrested him and the man may face up to ten years in a Russian prison as a result of his crimes, which authorities claim is plenty of time to think about just how very not bright he is, at all.
Police Catch Braggart Thief Using GPS Technology, More Brain Cells
Manhattan Beach, Calif. fugitive Wanda Lee Ann Podgurski, 60,was arrested in Rosarito Beach, Mexico last Thursday after tweeting from her personal twitter account, “Catch me if you can.”
Authorities responded to the obviously tongue-in-cheek jab at them from Podgurski by firing up a GPS tracker that triangulated her location from the phone she used to send the tweet, and then proceeding to catch her, because obviously they (and she, apparently) didn’t realize she was just joking.
The 60-year-old former Amtrak clerk was wanted for defrauding six insurance agencies as well as the federal government by faking injury and drawing disability payments, the Los Angeles Times reports.
The high profile case was promptly turned over to the U.S. Marshall and the Computer and Technology High tech response team, which led to the GPS aided capture.
Podgurski is now in custody and awaiting trial for additional charges. Her twitter account still active, and apparently jail has not dulled her sense of humor:
Drunk Would-Be Thief Breaks and Enters, Sleeps on Couch, Gets Arrested
And just when you thought criminals couldn’t get any sleepier, the story of Florida man Dominque Pinkard, 21, hits the wire. The Orlando Sentinel reports that Pinkard and an accomplice, Julian Evangelist, 20, kicked in the door of a house on July 8 in Lady Lake, Florida intending to rob it, when Pinkard decided to lay on the couch and take a nap with a pocket full of the homeowner’s jewelry.
Evangelist proceeded to grab a television before fleeing the scene without waking Pinkard. No word on whether or not Evangelist added insult to injury on the sleeping Pinkard by drawing something offensive in magic marker on his forehead for falling asleep with his shoes on.
The homeowner arrived hours later and called the police when he spotted the sleeping Pinkard with a pocket full of his wife’s Jewelry collection, which then led authorities to Evangelist.
Both men have been booked in the Lake County jail where they probably aren’t talking to each other until Evangelist apologizes to Pinkard for being the worst crime buddy ever.