NORAD Switches to Microsoft to Track Santa: BrickHouse Says ‘No, No, No,’ Stays with Google Maps to Keep Baby Jesus Safe

Update 12/19/12: After we posted this story, we learned why NORAD had turned to Microsoft for Santa-tracking. Turns out the folks at Google Maps have created their own algorithm to track the red-suited one this Christmas Eve. Microsoft? Google? You decide. As noted below, we’ve already made our choice…

 

Original Post:

We were surprised and a little alarmed to learn that NORAD has dumped Google and switched to Microsoft’s Bing Maps to track Santa as he flies from the North Pole to homes around the world this Christmas Eve.

Keeping an eye on Saint Nick is an important task — and could well be a matter of national security if the magic sleigh strays into a no-fly zone and gets fired on by a junior officer on a Christmas Eve egg nog jag.

“I have nothing against Microsoft — the blank blue screen always gives me a feeling of serenity,” said Todd Morris, BrickHouse Security’s CEO. “But we’re sticking with Google Maps for real-world, real-time tracking of Baby Jesus and other holiday displays.”

“At least NORAD didn’t use Apple Maps,” added Morris, who worked for both Apple and MapQuest before founding BrickHouse. “We just hope the people who keep the skies safe over North America aren’t entrusting Microsoft with their air defense network. That’s one place I’d hate to see the blue screen of death.”

For the 7th year in a row, BrickHouse is offering religious institutions and non-profits free GPS tracking of their holiday displays through the holiday season. Thieves, vandals and heretics think twice about snatching Baby Jesus out of his creche for an evil joyride when they know BrickHouse Security is monitoring the young messiah’s every move and ready to transmit His abductor’s GPS coordinates to local law enforcement at a moment’s notice.

Qualified organizations taking part in the “GPS Jesus” holiday program get a free Spark Nano and access to BrickHouse’s powerful GPS monitoring platform for the duration of the holiday season. Even the shipping is fast, free and tracked.

Santa may be a mythical/sociological construct in the eyes of some adults, but it’s BrickHouse’s view that NORAD (the North American Aerospace Defense Command) shouldn’t take any chances around the holidays.

“We’re confident NORAD and Microsoft know what they’re doing,” said Marc Horowitz, BrickHouse’s Director of Public Safety Outreach. “And as long as the weather holds, we expect Santa to have a clean run this Christmas. But when it comes to protecting something as important as Baby Jesus, Google Maps is the only application we trust to get the job done right.”

To learn more about GPS Jesus visit the BrickHouse Security GPS tracking page.

About the author  ⁄ Marc Horowitz

Marc is the Creative Director at BrickHouse Security and the Editor of the BrickHouse blog. He’s a former Editor-in-Chief at Hachette Filipacchi Media and has written about technology and general interest topics for a number of major national print and online publications, including The New York Times, Popular Science, Popular Mechanics, The Economist, The Village Voice and many others. A native New Yorker, Marc lives in NYC’s West Village. His passions include travel, skiing, food, books, film, live music, comedy and irony.

  • http://www.pnestec.com/product/gps_tracking_system.html GPS Tracking System

    I think there are certain components of comment system that
    are necessary… After that it’s whatever fits the needs of your audience.