I was almost convinced, at the brink of acceptance, and mid nod when three of my co-workers stopped my chin from falling.
After hours of listening to my bosses explain to me the importance of “Twitter” and other social networking outlets such as “Facebook” and “MySpace” they had almost successfully recruited me for their team. I was enthusiastically signing up for a twitter account thinking of all the benefits and connections I was about to become a part of, when one question brought all of it to a screeching halt: What’s your twitter username? This seemingly harmless question, directed to three of my male co-workers, was the start of the end for me. After discovering that none of them had Twitter accounts I was shocked and the sting of betrayal pulsed through my veins. Why would my bosses lie to me? If they weren’t lying then why didn’t people they worked with every day not partake in what my bosses described as invaluable connection making?? Were they just trying to trick me? I was enraged with nothing but a primordial soup filled with feelings of confusion, pain, and anger and I knew that the only thing that would shed any sort of light on the situation was truth. And so my investigation began.
Social networking sites bridge the gaps between people by relocating them from the comfort of their own homes to a cyber world where they can sit snuggly next to each other, hold hands, and talk. It has been found that some relationships actually benefit from the trite, straight to the point updates that they might receive from their significant other becuase it allows them to be connected all the time. Many guys thoroughly enjoy the fact that twitter limits updates to only 140 characters, allowing their wives to tell them what needs to be said and nothing more. Relationships between friends, acquaintances and long lost family members have sometimes thrived solely from these networking sites.
However, there is definitely a downside to being able to join two souls with one body, mind, and internet. Unfortunately these are the pitfalls that social media networking sites like facebook, twitter, and myspace can ignite. …
A Long Week…
“I thought you were at Danny’s last night,” wife says
“I was,” boyfriend who wishes to remain anonymous says
“Then why is Danny in Paris right now having a late??”
“Who is Lydia???”
“Lydia the blonde who CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU”
“She is my sister.”
“Soooo…what were YOU doing the summer of your sophomore year in high school”, wife says
“I dont know…working at trader joes?”
“Liar! I SAW THE PICTURES”
Don’t think that these sleepless nights go unnoticed by men. Having these fights that stem from online “networking” is like finding one of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’s horcruxes and destroying it: it eats away at their soul. Their countercurse? Walking away from all of it.
Men are starting to take the security of their relationships into their own hands. By a simple click (or few clicks, these traps really don’t enjoy being deleted by their users) they can be rid of all the incriminating surprises that pop up on their wives newsfeeds, all of the suspicious looking posts by their family members, and the weeks of punishment that will ensue if they say hello to a fellow co-worker who happens to be female and doesn’t resemble a monster. ”
Maybe…. These networking sites should take this into consideration. For example, any pictures that are taken of you can be posted on Facebook. Your name can be tagged, thereby linking you and all of your friends directly to that picture of you in Cabo spring break 1978. No permission needs to be given, no confirmation buttons need to be pressed, with a simple e-mail alert telling you that you should stay as late as possible in the office to avoid a big fight, Facebook allows people to post and tag whatever pictures they want. Anonymous bachelor 2 would still be married if facebook had given him the option of DETAGGING a picture before it was posted for everyone to see, including his very paranoid and hypersensitive wife. Anonymous bachelor 1 might still have his left eye. The consequences of the picture posting and tagging epidemic are severe and sometimes unforgivable. Better security and more control over what is posted on the internet about you might alleviate the pressure for men to delete their connection to their long lost brother in order to save their marriage.
Or Maybe… The relationships were flawed to begin with. Go ahead psycho ex-girlfriend, think back to the days where things were calm with your boyfriend. Imagine sitting across the table. Now do you see a 19 year old, misanthrope with no social skills whatsoever who stays in his room watching Yoda fade away with Luke Skywalker by his bedside hoping for him to pop back to life? No, you should be thankful that your boyfriend or husband had a life before you and should be comfortable enough with your relationship to see visual proof of that. And for men: maybe if those pictures of you didn’t exist, or maybe if you didn’t flirt with your super model coworkers you wouldn’t be in the dog house so often.
Or maybe, just maybe it wasn’t meant to be.